Good thing I didn't recycle the old Razr...

Well, I had a little accident on Saturday. I was wearing a sweatshirt and had my cell phone in the front pocket. Everything was just a normal day, it was a little snowy outside and then...flush, good-bye cell phone. Yup, that's right, I flushed it down the toilet. It fell out of my pocket at just the perfect moment for the water to flush it down the drain. It didn't even clog the pipes. It was just gone! It's a good thing I still have my trusty ol' Razr from about 5 years ago. I was supposed to mail it in to be recycled, but accually it was a good thing I never got around to that, because I have had to use my old Razr three different times. First, I had to use it when my newer old cell phone was dropped and the cheap-o plastic back shattered. Then Rose used it when her cell phone got stolen, and now I am using it again. Thank goodness it is made of pure metal, I think the Razr must have been the greatest cell phone ever made, just for the pure fact that it is indestructable!! Let's just hope it's no match for the toilet!

As a side note: Technology has made it such that you never have to commit a phone number to memory anymore, so if you want me to call you, you should probably email me your number, because any numbers I had, they got flushed, too. Thanks.

Free at last...

Dear Tube of Toothpaste,

Today I liberate myself from attempting to squeeze the last bit of paste out of you. I am so tired of doing this in some vain attempt at frugality. I am so over feeling guilty that I have not used up every last effort to force one last brush from you, tube. And this goes for you bottle of mostly gone lotion. I will no longer untwist your cap and attempt to dump the remains from the bottom of the container. I will no longer be cleaning up your messes. When I reach the final squirt of lotion, I WILL throw you out. I can no longer waste my time in meaningless efforts such as these. I am fed up with your lack of ability to suck the final remaining drops of lotion through your pump. Therefore, I stand in protest. And finally, to you hole ridden, elastic starved underwear. I am ridding myself of your inconvenience also. You are of no use to me. I will no longer pull you out and put you on and waste time unraveling elastic that has wound around the other laundry after I wash you. I feel extremely good about this decision. It has been a long time coming. Congratulations to me, and good-bye.